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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Alien abduction and evil crepes as cat food

We'd been at L'Atmosphere for dinner and I had had a rather dubious crepe; some kind of processed liquid cheese combined with what appeared to be luncheon meat and a fried egg, French haute cuisine it was not but luckily my feline friends were on hand to help out and I launched chunks of ham, cheese and egg through the air to land on the grass where a series of moggies were patiently waiting for tid bits. Rangy little afghan cats, they knew where best to catch the crumbs and were delighted by the random lumps of fine fare that were raining down upon them, seemingly from the sky; "Thank you Sky Cat", I heard them saying to each other as another lump of ham appeared out of the darkness and landed at their paws. PM and I hypothesised about what it must be like to be a cat - or any other animal for that matter - interacting with humans and their stange ways. When a cat receives 'manna from heaven' does he believe that god is sending him food? At least if I didn't enjoy eating greasy tinned muck in a pancake the cats certainly did.

One afternoon I spied the tortoise in the garden and in my general enthusiasm whipped him up from the grass and brought him inside to have his picture taken. I had all but performed an alien abduction on him I thought as I pictured how it must feel to have big, pink hands descend upon you and suddenly levitate you effortlessly, transporting you up in to the sky. A large, gangly, alien being with no shell peering at you in the face and talking in strange tongues. A strange habitat filled with garish colours and patterns and machines with lights on that beep and whirr, some bright, bright flashes of light (no pain) and then suddenly, flying through the air again and landing, as if all was a dream, back on the grass, "White light, hazy memory. Roswell..., area 51... then nothing". Alien anal probe - my arse - that tortoise will have sold his story to the National Enquirer quicker than Elvis can down a burger on the toilet whilst flying a jumbo jet to the moon!

9 comments:

  1. Am shocked and saddened by news of Karen Woo's death today. Dr. Woo's selfless humanity snuffed out. She made a difference while she lived. Her life had meaning. Perhaps her death will have meaning and impact to wake up humanity to stop senseless brutality and killing.

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  2. Oh, feck, this is funny. Are you up in heaven reading my comments? I certainly hope you are.

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  3. Rest in peace Doc.

    Taliban, you worthless excuses of human beings, may you all burn in hell.

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  4. Hi Karen,

    I'm sure you are in a happier world now without the need to look for food and 5 senses sometimes drove us nuts.

    You don't know me. But I certainly know you since you made yourself so famous now! Your fame came just a bit too late isn't it? I'm a little realtor working in Vancouver originally from Taiwan.

    I'm not like other people offering superfical talks like angels be with God all that crab.

    I must say that you did a very risky trip so wrong and so little value and now your parents, your brothers and all your family are heart broken. It is the worst thing a daughter or son can do to their parents by letting them sit in his/her funeral.

    You are at a wrong trip and with wrong group of people!! You could have say no easily to this trip letting them know physically you are not capable. They will go without you!!

    Once we pass 30, there are many things we can no longer do or try and have to be conservative with all our decisions.

    The funny thing about the whole thing is Taliban and millitant don't usually kill medical people. Especially, a bunch of American!! Even they can. They would think twice about it. They know their ass will get kick real bad. And all the bombs will come soon!

    Those so call eye camp with bunch of christian missionary. Are they really clean? Not doing any religious activities in secrecy?

    Something must have anger them. So that they are not scare of the consquence!!

    I read about some Japnese smuggling drugs into China and get caught. The penalty is death.

    I read about American spiiting gum in Singapore and pentalty is spnaking his bum.

    Differnt countries have differnt law. Citizen including visitors must follow the law. Here in Canada whole bunch of people doing drugs. So I feel strange that Japanese smuggling drugs in China had to be killed. I'm confused.

    I'm not sure if these christian missionary had done anything illegal in secrecy and in that camp!!

    If that is true, that will make their murder legal!?

    Now, I hope it is not true! And taliban just went crazy and wrongfully accuse and murder. And let the American kick their ass and kill them all.

    But again. What are bunch of westerns doing in Afgan? Wouldn't it be eaiser to let them mind their own business.

    Until the Afgan a safe place and they can offer safty of aid workers. What's the point to be there?

    Life is too precious to loss in such a crazy and meaningless place.

    And I don't need to do my praise for you. All others done that already.

    Soon you will be back....

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  7. You are my role model. I want to be a doctor and help children in afghanistan too. I miss you soo much. I read ur blogs and the info they say in the magazines. May you rest in peace. You are amazing and always will be. I will always think of you x you helped people and changed their loves. Your in a beautiful place now. I hope u are reading this. Please. X I miss you xx

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